Interview: Adam Millard – Part Two

Interview: Adam Millard – Part Two


Welcome back to Part Two of Confessions of a Reviewers interview with the one and only Mr Adam Millard.

As with last night, in fact even more so than last night, I would recommend that if you have any young children looking over your shoulder, you be a responsible adult and send them outside now to play with the traffic!

Tonight, Mr Millard will chat about all things Pigface and Larry. He will tell you all about how comedy and horror mix, and he show you how to confess like a professional!

It’s Monday night so you probably need a laugh. Go get some beer and nachos and sit back, and most of all…..enjoy!



CoaR – Moving on to the Larry Trilogy, eh, why? How did you conceive the idea for these and what did you truly want to achieve with them?

AM – I’m a huge fan of slasher films, and wanted to parody them without pissing people off. So, I threw in all the tropes—the final girl, the third part in 3D, running in slow motion, cabin in the woods, sex means death—and tried to make them funny. Again, the idea was just two words in my notepad document: old slasher. You never think of Michael Myers or Jason Voorhees as pensioners, but since they can’t really be killed, it will happen at some point. That was the idea, and I really enjoy writing those books.


CoaR – The level of humour involved is immense. Are you a funny man in real life or more of an introvert?

AM – A bit of both. I am a hermit for much of the year, only leaving the house for conventions and events. My wife thinks I’m funny, but she also thinks Joan Rivers is funny, so I don’t know what to believe.


CoaR – Could you write Joan Rivers into the next instalment to see if you could make her funnier?

AM – Joan Rivers appears in all my books. It’s a little Easter Egg for all the hardcore Millardeibers out there.

CoaR – Slaps self for not noticing!


CoaR – You make constant, funny, references to sequels throughout the stories. Did you always have the vision of a trilogy?

AM – Not at all. I thought there would only be one Larry book, but after the success of that, I knew I had to turn it into a franchise. Part four will be set in space. Eventually I will run out of ideas and then reboot the whole thing with Andy Serkis as Pigface.



CoaR – As well as the humour, there are buckets of blood in all three books. How do you switch from humour to horror so easily and how do you manage to combine them as well? I’m thinking how you made me laugh and cringe at the same time.

AM – Horror and comedy go so well together, but getting it right is tough. What We Do in the Shadows (2014) gets it right, whereas most of the Scary Movie franchise is terribly unfunny. I don’t know how, or whether, I do it. Something which is funny to me might not be funny to others, so a lot of it is hit-and-miss. Make the deaths hilarious, throw in a couple of one-liners and an annoying running gag, and sprinkle with expletives (other methods are available).


CoaR – Do you have a favourite to write between horror and humour?

AM – I find the funny stuff easier to write, but that’s not to say I prefer it over writing serious horror. I tend to alternate between the two; I think it keeps me sane going from something bleak and dark to something funny and whimsical.


CoaR – Please tell me this series is going to continue?

AM – Yes, Pigface will return in 2018.


CoaR – What would your ultimate wish be with your writing?

AM – I’ve been trying to get an agent for many years now, to take that next step in my career so that I can move to the country and my wife can make jam and my kids can get lost in the woods for months at a time. That’s the dream.



CoaR – What do you like to do when you’re not writing?

AM – Make low-budget comedy horror films and read.


CoaR – What’s coming in the future from Adam Millard?

AM – I have three novels currently with agents, and have sold a dozen short stories so far in 2017, which will all be making an appearance at some point. In November, the signed limited-edition hardcover of Swimming in the Sea of Trees will be released through DarkFuse.


CoaR – You have written so many novels and novellas and stories. How do you keep coming up with the inspiration for them all?

AM – There are so many things to write, my fear is that I will never get around to setting them all down on paper. Coming up with ideas is not an issue; doing them justice is. Inspiration can be found in everything (a news report, a single sentence, disparate objects). You could write a thousand novels with prompts from Cards for Humanity. I’m not saying you should, but you could.


CoaR – Following on from that – the question you probably hear all the time, and dread. Which is your favourite from your own work?

AM – I would have to say either Milk or Stuff That.



CoaR – Who would be the authors you would give the credit of being your influences and who do you just not “get”?

AM – Ramsey Campbell, Tom Holt, Terry Pratchett, Stephen King, Robert Rankin, Graham Masterton, Douglas Adams, K.W. Jeter, Poppy Z. Brite, Clive Barker, so many authors who I read religiously. It’s probably a safe answer, but I don’t get Ayn Rand. 


CoaR – What’s the most difficult part of writing for you?

AM – Trying to fit it all in. Being halfway through a novel when three interesting sub calls appear on social media. I’m thinking of moving to Venus, where there are over 5,000 earth hours in a day. It’s a bit carbon monoxide-y up there, though, so maybe I should stay put and just take on less work.


CoaR – Can you secretly tell me who Mr Pugglesworth is?

AM – Ah, Pugglesworth, that old cad. He is an anthropomorphic pug who likes to read my work when I’m out of the room, film himself doing it, and then upload it to YouTube for all and sundry to watch. What you don’t see is him pissing on the sofa or eating the cat’s food when we’re not looking. He might wear a fancy Marks & Spencer smoking jacket, but he’s still a dog. His farts stink, too.






1 Who would you view as your main competitor in the writing world?

I don’t view any of my fellow authors as competitors. We’re all in this together. If anything, we’re competing against the chimney sweeps. They’re the real bastards in all of this.


2 What book or author have you read that you think should never have been published?

Ooooh! This is the kind of career-ending question I’ve been practicing for. The blokes that wrote the Bible. I mean, it started off okay, got a little exposition-y in the middle, and has the worst ending since The Devil Inside. They keep reprinting it, though. I can only imagine how many bathrooms the writers have in their mansions.


3 Are any of the things your characters have experienced in your books been based on something that has actually happened to you? What was it?

Nope. It’s all lies.


4 Have you ever blatantly stolen an idea or scene and adapted it for one of your own books? If so, care to share?

I would never blatantly steal from anything, book or film. Obviously, I adapted The Human Centipede into a joyful Christmas tale (The Human Santapede), but that is parody/satire and is therefore not an infringement when it comes to copyright law. In the words of As Good as it Gets’ Melvin Udall, “People who plagiarize should shampoo my crotch.”

CoaR – Do you change your crotch hair colour when you change your mohawk’s colour? (Pugglesworth wanted me to ask that)

The crotch hair remains gunmetal silver, no matter what colour the mohawk.


5 Have you ever anonymously left a bad review for someone else’s book? If so, care to share?

Do people do this? No, I think people should stand by their words. If I don’t like a piece of work, I’ll say so. Likewise, if an author approaches me with a book for the purposes of a blurb, and it’s not something I can endorse, I will tell them. I hate anonymous keyboard warriors as much as I hate plagiarists.


6 What’s the one thing you are least proud of doing in your life and why?

I’m not proud of a lot of things. I have bipolar II, so I often find myself doing stuff most people would never even dream of. I think the thing I am least proud of is flying to Ibiza alone, a week after getting married, leaving my wife frantic at home. Yeah, that was an asshole move on my part.


7 What’s the one thing you are MOST proud of doing in your life and why?

I’m most proud of my kids. They came out of me, so I can take their successes as my own.


8 What’s your biggest fault?

See question 6.


9 What is your biggest fear?

I suffer with terrible night terrors, and most nights I go to bed wondering whether it will be the old lady sitting on my chest or the laughing doll in the shadowy corner of the room. I fear sleep.


10 If you had to go to confession now, what would be the one thing you would need to get off your chest?

Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I watched A Serbian Film, and thought it was really well-made.

CoaR – There is no hope for you, my son.



Well, unfortunately, that is the end of the interview with Mr Millard.

I am sure you will all agree that he is as funny in real life as he is when you read his books.

I have to give a huge personal thanks to Adam for taking the time out of his busy schedule to do this interview and for being such a good sport. As you can see, he is a busy busy man in every aspect of his life and we really appreciate his time.

Watch out for more books coming from Adam in the near future and don’t forget to come back tomorrow night to check out our review of the first book in the trilogy, Larry.

Thanks again for visiting Confessions of a Reviewer!




Adam Millard is the author of twenty novels, ten novellas, and more than a hundred short stories, which can be found in various collections and anthologies. Probably best known for his post-apocalyptic fiction, Adam also writes fantasy/horror for children. He created the character Peter Crombie, Teenage Zombie just so he had something decent to read to his son at bedtime. Adam also writes Bizarro fiction for several publishers, who enjoy his tales of flesh-eating clown-beetles and rabies-infected derrieres so much that they keep printing them. His “Dead” series has recently been the filling in a Stephen King/Bram Stoker sandwich on Amazon’s bestsellers chart. When he’s not writing about the nightmarish creatures battling for supremacy in his head, Adam writes for This Is Horror, whose columnists include Simon Bestwick and Simon Marshall-Jones.


And for more about Adam, visit his site or find him on social media:

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